Forgive And Forget

Kata orang gue cewek yang sangat cuek dan membuat gue selalu menganggap enteng semua masalah, termasuk masalah yang mungkin bagi semua orang adalah masalah yang gak bisa dibilang biasa-biasa saja. is it ?.. Gak juga sih, gue juga bisa marah kok cuma kalo suatu hal itu gak perlu menguras otak gue dan oksigen dalan diri gue, lalu buat apa dijadikan sebagai suatu masalah, anggap aja angin lalu..

Tapi gak untuk yang satu ini. Mungkin karena sudah terjadi hal yang sama sebelumnya dan hal ini terulang lagi dan apes-nya terulang pada saat diri gue bener-bener sedang "terpuruk" dan sangat mengharapkan pada saat itu semua orang bisa mengerti keadaan gue *walaupun gue tau itu gak mungkin... :(

Dia teman yang baik, tapi terkadang menjadi teman yang baik aja sepertinya gak cukup buat gue. Kalo kata temen gue yang lain... "makanya, sadar diri dong kalo udah tua...." Ya... ya... ya... ya... Gue cuma mau mencoba membuktikan katanya kalau bergaul dengan yang lebih muda akan membawa pengaruh positif buat kita yang "tua'an"... Heheheheheeee....

Anyway, memang hal kecil yang membuat gue memutuskan untuk akhirnya "ah udah lah, bodo amat ama anak itu... gue capek untuk selalu menjadi orang pertama yang memulai untuk mengerti dan gue gak rugi kok kalo akhirnya gue gak temenan ama dia lagi"  *egois tingkat tinggi, totally blank dan masa bodo......

Pada saat yang bersamaan, sebutlah namanya Ita. She's way much younger than me... dan juga sedang mengalami keadaan yang sama dengan gue. Kesel tingkat tinggi dan udah siap untuk mengakhiri pertemanan dengan teman baiknya karena hal sepele.. *gue tau sih, masing-masing manusia punya takarannya sendiri untuk menilai apakah masalah itu sepele atau tidak, dan yang gue pikir sepele ini ternyata tidak demikian dengan Ita...

Gue inget kalo Ita bilang "its Done mba..udah cukup selama ini gue selalu sabar ama dia"... Hhhhmmmmm.... i wish you knew that i have the same problem too..

But then.. beberapa hari kemudian gue melihat mereka bercanda lagi seakan-akan gak ada masalah apa2 dan keadaan udah normal lagi.. OMG... makes me think.. Ita, bisa menjadi lebih dewasa dari gue dengan umur yang jauh lebih muda dari gue. Kenapa gue gak bisa ????.. Gue gak tau apakah Ita memaafkan dan melupakan masalah itu ??

Ragu-ragu, gue sms dia untuk ketemuan setelah pulang kantor...DI JAWAB !!! Dia mau.. Akhirnyaaa.... gue memilih to Forgive and Forget and let me have my Peace. Gak sangka bahwa gue yang egois bisa memilih keputusan ini..





  

dunno wat tu sei..

Awal taon 2011 ini banyak banget kejadian menakjubkan yang masuk di hidup gue. Salah satunya kejadian dan keadaan yang membuar akhirnya gue memutuskan untuk tidak seperti kutu loncat dan mencoba menjalani perkataan sesorang untuk "jalani yang ada saat ini dengan sebaik mungkin dan kalau memang sudah waktunya untuk pindah tanpa kamu cari, hal itu akan datang sendiri"..

But then.. the man that i adore and respect told me me that he wont be on that company again at the end of this month.. Oh My GOD.. for a minute, i didn't know what to say or how to react at him.. Just Smile dan berkata dalam hati  "ada apa lagi ini ???, seseorang dengan umur senja seperti ini masih harus menghadapi ujian seperti ini ????". Mencoba membandingkan dan mengingat dengan semua ujian dan kejadian yang pernah gue alami sendiri dan itu belum ada apa2-nya. Walau sangat takut, gue yakin kalo Tuhan melihat semua ini dan Dia tidak diam.

Now.. cuma ada gue, jujur .. beban ini terlalu berat. Walau gue sangat yakin kalo keadaan ini sudah diatur sedemikian rupa, mungkin aja dengan keadaan ini beliau jadi gak stress lagi tiap pagi.. dengan keadaan ini kesehatan beliau jadi lebih membaik terutama kesehatan mata-nya.

Hhhhmmmm... bantu kami semua melewati keadaan ini Tuhan.. Amin.

Just Five More Minutes

While at the park one day, a woman sat down next to a man on a bench near a playground.

  “That’s my son over there,” she said, pointing to a little boy in a red sweater who was gliding down the slide.

“He’s a fine looking boy” the man said. “That’s my daughter on the bike in the white dress.”

Then, looking at his watch, he called to his daughter. “What do you say we go, Melissa?”
Melissa pleaded, “Just five more minutes, Dad. Please? Just five more minutes.”

The man nodded and Melissa continued to ride her bike to her heart’s content. Minutes passed and the father stood and called again to his daughter. “Time to go now?”
Again Melissa pleaded, “Five more minutes, Dad. Just five more minutes.”
The man smiled and said, “OK.”

“My, you certainly are a patient father,” the woman responded.

The man smiled and then said, “Her older brother Tommy was killed by a drunk driver last year while he was riding his bike near here. I never spent much time with Tommy and now I’d give anything for just five more minutes with him. I’ve vowed not to make the same mistake with Melissa.

She thinks she has five more minutes to ride her bike. The truth is, I get Five more minutes to watch her play.”

Life is all about making priorities, what are your priorities? Give someone you love 5 more minutes of your time today!

Trees That Wood

Once there were three trees on a hill in the woods. They were discussing their hopes and dreams when the first tree said, "Someday I hope to be a treasure chest. I could be filled with gold, silver and precious gems. I could be decorated with intricate carving and everyone would see the beauty."
 
Then the second tree said, "Someday I will be a mighty ship. I will take kings and queens across the waters and sail to the corners of the world. Everyone will feel safe in me because of the strength of my hull."

Finally the third tree said, "I want to grow to be the tallest and straightest tree in the forest. People will see me on top of the hill and look up to my branches, and think of the heavens and God and how close to them I am reaching. I will be the greatest tree of all time and people will always remember me."

After a few years of praying that their dreams would come true, a group of woodsmen came upon the trees. When one came to the first tree he said, "This looks like a strong tree, I think I should be able to sell the wood to a carpenter" ... and he began cutting it down. The tree was happy, because he knew that the carpenter would make him into a treasure chest.
 
At the second tree a woodsman said, "This looks like a strong tree, I should be able to sell it to the shipyard." The second tree was happy because he knew he was on his way to becoming a mighty ship.

When the woodsmen came upon the third tree, the tree was frightened because he knew that if they cut him down his dreams would not come true. One of the woodsmen said, "I don't need anything special from my tree so I'll take this one", and he cut it down.
 
When the first tree arrived at the carpenters, he was made into a feed box for animals. He was then placed in a barn and filled with hay. This was not at all what he had prayed for. The second tree was cut and made into a small fishing boat. His dreams of being a mighty ship and carrying kings had come to an end. The third tree was cut into large pieces and left alone in the dark. The years went by, and the trees forgot about their dreams.

Then one day, a man and woman came to the barn. She gave birth and they placed the baby in the hay in the feed box that was made from the first tree. The man wished that he could have made a crib for the baby, but this manger would have to do. The tree could feel the importance of this event and knew that it had held the greatest treasure of all time. Years later, a group of men got in the fishing boat made from the second tree. One of them was tired and went to sleep. While they were out on the water, a great storm arose and the tree didn't think it was strong enough to keep the men safe. The men woke the sleeping man, and he stood and said "Peace" and the storm stopped. At this time, the tree knew that it had carried the King of Kings in its boat.
 
Finally, someone came and got the third tree. It was carried through the streets as the people mocked the man who was carrying it. When they came to a stop, the man was nailed to the tree and raised in the air to die at the top of a hill. When Sunday came, the tree came to realize that it was strong enough to stand at the top of the hill and be as close to God as was possible, because Jesus had been crucified on it.

The moral of this story is that when things don't seem to be going your way, always know that God has a plan for you. If you place your trust in Him, He will give you great gifts. Each of the trees got what they wanted, just not in the way they had imagined. We don't always know what God's plans are for us. We just know that His ways are not our ways, but His ways are always best.

Gak ampe Rp. 100.000,- ........

Mencoba untuk mulai memberi batasan pada diri sendiri adalah hal yang sangat sulit, gak ada yang bisa kasih peringatan. Just you and your body.

Hal pertama yang gue ingin dan harus lakukan "membeli yang gue butuhkan..!!" dan itu bukan hal yang mudah dengan banyaknya mall-mall yang udah bertebaran kayak sampah.

Kali ini, udah niat dari pinggir jalan sebelum masuk ke mall besar ini "gue hanya akan membeli apa yang gue butuh sekarang".. Ternyata... keadaan didalam, atmosphere, lalu lalang orang, rak-rak yang disusun dan label harga yang bertuliskan "DISKON" udah nge-jembreng didepan muka gue. O M G.. bencana nih !!??!!

Rak yang gue datengin pertama adalah rak makanan siap saji karena tujuan utama gue memang mencari Soup Cream instan dan teman-temannya. Sebelumnya gue melewati rak alat-alat kebutuhan rumah tangga, dan 1 set tempat makan siang udah ditangan dan udah siap gue jatuhkan ke troli belanjaan yang gue pegang. Bletaaakk !!!.... gue liatin itu kotak makanan dan gue liat lagi harga yang ada di rak-nya *dalam hati.. "hhhmmm... worth it lah.." and then.. gue liat lagi itu kotak makanan dan serasa ada yang ngasih tau gue *ngayal.com*.. "Buat apa kotak itu sar ??? kemarin lo baru beli dari temen kantor lo dan lo masih punya kotak makan seperti itu dirumah dan belum elo pake sampai sekarang !!!".. Tumben, gue balikin itu kotak makanan ke rak semula dan feel free inside untuk melangkah ke rak makanan siap saji. Mata gue langsung nyari itu cream soup instan serta embel-embelnya dan langsung menjauh dari bagian itu..

Selesai dari rak makanan siap saji, gue inget kalo gue belum beli sabun cuci cair yang bisa gue pake. Melangkah lah kaki ini ke rak sabun dan kawan-kawan daaaannnnn... serangan itu dateng lagi pada saat gue melewati rak kosmetik dan embel-embelnya .. Hah !!! diskon 45% ???  kok bisa ???, kalo gue beli disini nanti bulan depan gue gak harus belanja lagi karena gue udah beli stock untuk bulan depan dari sekarang.. Senyum-senyum pe-de, gue ambil 2 kotak pelembab wajah dan foundation-nya. Masuklah ke troli kedua barang itu dan kembali gue jalan tanpa ada beban menuju rak sabun, begitu nemu sabun yang gue cari, ambil dan gue langsung menuju kasir.. Heheheheee... sempet mampir di meja cemilan ngambil biskuit buat orang rumah. But then.. waktu gue liat lagi belanjaan gue dan mata gue tertuju ke Kosmetik tadi.. "gue kan pake cream perawatan dari dokter... ngapain gue beli ini lagii ???!!!!??..". Berasa amnesia sesaat gue. Sambil geleng-geleng kepala, gue balik lagi ke rak kosmetik untuk ngembaliin dua barang tersebut.

Whooaalllaaa....akhirnya perjuangan malam ini berakhir. Gua berhasil untuk hanya membeli barang yang gue butuh yaitu Soup Cream Instan & temen2-nya dan Sabun cuci cair, yup thats what  i need now..

The Power of Your Actions

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class walking home from school. His name was Kyle. It looked like he was carrying all of his books. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday? He must really be a nerd." I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friend the following afternoon), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt. His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him. He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.

My heart went out to him. So, I jogged over to him, and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, I saw a tear in his eye.
I handed him his glasses and said, "Those guys are jerks. They really should get lives.
He looked at me and said, "Hey, thanks!" There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude. I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived. It turned out he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before. He said he had gone to private school before coming to this school.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before. We talked all the way home, and I carried his books. He turned out to be a pretty cool kid. I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends. He said yes. We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends thought the same of him. Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again. I stopped him and said, "Damn boy, you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books everyday!". He just laughed and handed me half the books. Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.

When we were seniors, we began to think about college. Kyle decided on Georgetown, and I was going to Duke. I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem. He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship. Kyle was valedictorian of our class.

I teased him all the time about being a nerd. He had to prepare a speech for graduation. I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.

Graduation day arrived - I saw Kyle and he looked great. He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school. He filled out and actually looked good in glasses. He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him!

Boy, sometimes I was jealous. Today was one of those days. I could see that he was nervous about his speech. So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said. As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began. "Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends. I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them. I am going to tell you a story."

I stared at my friend in disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend. He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home. He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile. "Thankfully, I was saved. My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment. I saw his Mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile. Not until that moment did I realize its depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or for worse. God puts us all in each other's lives to impact one another in some way. Look for God in others.

"Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly."

From Inspiring Story

Menikmati Kesendirian...

Hhhhmmmm...........Kenapa hal ini masih ada dalam hidup gue, padahal kejadian itu sudah berlalu 2 tahun yang lalu. Bukannya gak pernah mencoba, tetapi semakin mencoba malah bikin gue merasa seperti pengecut.

Don't know where to start at the first time, kebiasaan-kebiasaan dalam hidup gue yang sudah terbentuk selama 10 tahun itu harus dirubah dalam waktu sekejap, tanpa ada tanda apa-apa. Lelaki itu memilih untuk melepaskan semuannya dan berpikir bahwa dengan melepaskan itu keadaan hidup gue akan lebih baik daripada saat masih bersama dia *sok tahu tingkat tinggiiiii..*

Hancur ???.. sudah pasti, rencana hidup gue ke-depan, pekerjaan, kehidupan sosial, hubungan keluarga, harapan-harapan gue, semua berantakan dan gue harus menerima bahwa hal itu disebabkan oleh gue ???. Thanks to that man, yang menyatakan bahwa gue yang membuat semuanya berantakan dan gue juga yang menyebabkan lelaki itu memilih untuk melepaskan semuanya. KARENA GUE BERUBAH !!!!!

Bukan-kah itu yang harus dilakukan, berubah .... karena dunia juga berubah. Apa salah-nya dengan melakukan perubahan dalam hidup, gue juga gak mau kok, gue masih pengen hidup santai, gak pusing mikir biaya hidup, makan dan tidur terjamin, dan tetap merasa aman karena orang tua gue pasti menjamin itu semua. Tapi gak begitu caranya manusia hidup kan ???, elo akan lakukan apa saja untuk bisa bertahan hidup dan salah satu caranya adalah berubah mengikuti perkembangan sekeliling elo dan dengan perubahan itu pasti memang akan ada yang dikorbankan. Lalu kenapa lelaki itu gak bisa menerima alasan perubahan hidup gue ya ? dan membuat itu jadi alasan utama dan pembenaran buat dia ???

Anyway, gue sudah bisa menerima kok. Menerima kalo lelaki itu gak pantes dapat pengorbanan gue & gak pantes dapet air mata gue *walaupun kata-kata itu udah sering gue dapet dari orang-orang terdekat gue, tapi gue baru merasakannya sekarang...*

Bukan 1 atau 2 orang yang selalu melontarkan pertanyaan kalo mereka ketemu gue "sekarang udah ada penggantinya blom sar ??".. dan dengan muka manis pasti akan gue jawab "blom dan belom kepikiran untuk nyari pengganti..". Kelanjutan dari jawaban itu pasti sebuah pertanyaan baru.. "kenapa ??..".

Kenapa....????

Kenapa ya ?? ..... Gue seperti menemukan hidup baru. Keadaan yang dulu gue pikir akan menjadi lebih buruk setelah ditinggalkan gak sepenuhnya bener. Memang ada keadaan yang yang menjadi lebih buruk tapi timbul hal-hal baru yang tidak terpikir sebelumnya. Hal baru yang sampai saat ini sangat gue syukuri. Thanks God, lelaki itu meninggalkan gue.

Dulu gue harus mikir puluhan kali untuk melakukan sesuatu atau menginginkan sesuatu, tapi sekarang bebaaassss !!!!!... kewajiban gue hanya kasih informasi ke orang tua aja dan mereka hanya bilang "terserah kamu aja..". 
Mau shopping sana sini, mo jalan-jalan kemana aja, mau makan apa aja, duit-duit gue kok.. Sedikit egois, tapi gue lega karena saat ini gue hanya bertanggung jawab untuk menjaga hati orang tua gue aja.. *itu sih ampe kapan aja emang kudu..* gak ada lagi deh perasaan "dia suka gak yaa ???... "

Gak sedikit juga yang bertanya .."mau sampe kapan sar.. ?". HHhhhmmmm... gue juga gak tau keadaan ini akan sampai kapan. Gue sedang menikmati kesendirian gue sekarang dan i do enjoy it guys..




 

I Wish...

10th grade

As I sat there in English class, I stared at the girl next to me. She was my so called "best friend". I stared at her long, silky hair, and wished she was mine. But she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. After class, she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before and handed them to her. She said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wanted to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

11th grade
The phone rang. On the other end, it was her. She was in tears, mumbling on and on about how her love had broke her heart. She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone, so I did. As I sat next to her on the sofa, I stared at her soft eyes, wishing she was mine. After 2 hours, one Drew Barrymore movie, and three bags of chips, she decided to go to sleep. She looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Senior year
The day before prom she walked to my locker. My date is sick" she said; he's not going to go well, I didn't have a date, and in 7th grade, we made a promise that if neither of us had dates, we would go together just as "best friends". So we did. Prom night, after everything was over, I was standing at her front door step. I stared at her as she smiled at me and stared at me with her crystal eyes. I want her to be mine, but she isn't think of me like that, and I know it. Then she said "I had the best time, thanks!" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Graduation Day
A day passed, then a week, then a month. Before I could blink, it was graduation day. I watched as her perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't notice me like that, and I knew it. Before everyone went home, she came to me in her smock and hat, and cried as I hugged her. Then she lifted her head from my shoulder and said, "you're my best friend, thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

A Few Years Later
Now I sit in the pews of the church. That girl is getting married now. I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life, married to another man. I wanted her to be mine, but she didn't see me like that, and I knew it. But before she drove away, she came to me and said "you came!". She said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek. I want to tell her, I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love her but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why.

Funeral
Years passed, I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend". At the service, they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years. This is what it read: I stare at him wishing he was mine, but he doesn't notice me like that, and I know it. I want to tell him, I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends, I love him but I'm just too shy, and I don't know why. I wish he would tell me he loved me! `I wish I did too...` I thought to my self, and I cried.

- an email sent by my friend!

Mencari Tambang Emas

Suatu hari, seorang anak perempuan pulang ke rumah orangtuanya dengan hati gundah. Sambil menangis dia mengadukan masalah rumah tangga yang sedang di hadapinya, "Ayah, ibu, ananda sudah tidak sanggup hidup bersama dengan suamiku lagi. Sudah sekian lama dia tidak bekerja, sehingga di rumah sekarang ini tidak ada uang lagi untuk biaya hidup. Aku mau bercerai saja. Titik."

"Memangnya ada apa dengan pekerjaan suamimu dulu?" tanya sang ibu.

"Dia merasa pekerjaannya tidak berharga lagi. Satu-satunya benda yang dianggap bernilai adalah emas sehingga setiap hari dia sibuk berpikir di mana dan bagaimana caranya sukses menemukan tambang emas. Aku sudah mengingatkan berulang kali, bahkan mengancam akan pergi dari rumah, tetapi dia tidak peduli sama sekali. Aku sungguh tidak tahan lagi, Yah, Bu."

Setelah memikirkan beberapa saat, sang ayah berkata kepada anaknya, "Anakku, pulanglah ke rumahmu. Sampaikan pada suamimu, ayah mempunyai pengetahuan mengolah emas dari warisan keluarga. Jika suamimu serius mau belajar, ayah akan memberitahu rahasia dan cara mendapatkan emas."

Si suamipun bergegas mendatangi mertuanya setelah mendengar kabar dari istrinya. Si ayah mertua berjanji akan memberitahu cara menambang emas dengan syarat, si menantu harus mengumpulkan 5 kilogram bulu daun pisang dari pohon pisang yang ditanam sendiri. Dengan gembira si menantu segera pulang dan mulai menanam pisang di ladangnya, di pekarangan rumahnya, dan di semua lahan kosong yang dipunyainya. Dengan rajin dia merawat pohon pisangnya. Setiap kali masa panen, istri dan anaknya memetik, dan dia sibuk mengumpulkan bulu-bulu di atas daun pisang.

Tiga tahun kemudian, saat terkumpul 5 kilogram bulu daun pisang, dia datang untuk menagih janji kepada ayah mertuanya.

"Baiklah anakku. Ayah sudah tidak sabar lagi ingin memberi pelajaran ini kepadamu," kata si ayah sambil mengajaknya memasuki kamar dan lalu dibukalah lemari yang ada di sana. Ternyata isinya batangan emas. Si menantu tercengang gembira berkata, "Oh, ternyata ayah dari dulu sudah mengolah emas. Cepat beritahu saya, bagaimana cara mengolahnya?"

"Batangan emas ini bukan ayah yang menambang dan mengolahnya. Tetapi kamuyang mengolahnya sendiri."

"Saya yang mengolah? Tambang saja tidak ada, apalagi mengolah emas?"

"Anakku, tentu ada caranya bila tidak mengolah tambang emas tapi bisa menghasilkan emas. Ingat pohon pisang yang telah kau tanam? Uang hasil penjualan pisang, bapak belikan emas. Dan emas di almari itu adalah hasil kerja kerasmu selama 3 tahun."

Dengan takjub, dielusnya emas di tangannya. "Terima kasih Ayah. Ayah telah mengajarkan kepada saya, bahwa untuk mendapatkan emas tidak berarti harus menambang sendiri. Dengan memanfaatkan tanah dan pekarangan yang ada, kami pun dapat memiliki emas yang sangat bernilai ini," ucapnya dengan lega dan penuh syukur.

Sering kali kita menganggap kesuksesan bisa dicapai hanya melalui satu cara saja, padahal kesuksesan bisa diraih melalui berbagai cara.

Dan sebenarnya di dalam diri kita sendiri dan di tempatdimana kita berada saat ini, telah tersedia kesempatan-kesempatan yang memungkinkan untuk kita gali, kita olah sekaligus kita manfaatkan untuk kita jadikan emas.

 Written by: Andrie Wongso (Rabu, 08-Desember-2010)

Kebahagiaan Yang Tersembunyi

Suatu saat saya mengikuti sebuah retreat dimana kita melatih hidup berkesadaran. Yang dilatih sangatlah abstrak: melatih kesadaran. Dimulailah kita melatih sadar bernapas. Bayangkan saja, setelah sekian lama hidup, di retreat tersebut saya dan seluruh peserta melatih kesadaran bernapas. Saya pikir agak lucu juga repot-repot ikut retreat, kok dilatih bernapas dengan sadar. Akhirnya dengan pasrah, saya kemudian melatih napas dengan sadar pada retreat tersebut. Napas masuk, napas keluar, semua dilakukan dengan sadar. Sadar disini bukan berarti napas yang dibuat-buat, tapi maksudnya adalah diamati dengan sadar.

Ditengah-tengah latihan tersebut, tiba-tiba dalam hati saya timbul sebuah rasa yang saya tidak pernah rasakan; betapa nikmatnya saya bisa bernapas. Saya sendiri sampai merasa geli sendiri bahwa pada saat itu tiba-tiba timbul rasa syukur atas nikmatnya bernapas. Saya jadi ingat ayah saya yang seumur hidupnya sering sekali menderita asma, dimana pada saat asma menyerang, napas menjadi sebuah usaha yang menyakitkan oleh karena rasa sulit bernapas akibat sesak. Ayah saya menggantungkan dirinya dengan obat-obat asma, sementara saya bisa melakukan napas dengan ringan tanpa usaha dan bantuan apapun. Indah dan nikmat sekali bisa bernapas.

Saya kemudian menjalani retreat tersebut dengan tekun dan tanpa pengharapan apa-apa. Ternyata, sambil latihan bernapas secara sadar, selain timbul rasa beryukur bahwa saya bisa bernapas dengan lancar, timbulah rasa syukur lainnya. Begitulah yang terjadi, hingga saya mengerti mengapa kesadaran bisa dilatih dengan cara melatih napas dengan berkesadaran. Sambil berlatih mengamati napas dengan sadar, ada timbul rasa dalam diri saya, betapa nikmatnya hidup ini, bahwa semua yang saya perlukan sebetulnya sudah disediakan oleh hidup. Bahkan saya sempat merasa konyol ditengah-tengah latihan tersebut, bahwa saya merasa bisa bersyukur sekali saat itu hanya untuk bisa duduk sambil menutup mata dalam suasana tenang. Kok bisa indah dan damai ya. Rasa bahagia yang biasa rasanya susah saya dapatkan, rasa bahagia yang penuh persyaratan yang saya pikir hanya bisa didapat dengan usaha keras, ternyata sekonyong-konyongnya datang kesaya saat saya duduk diam, menutup mata, dan mengamati napas saya. Kebahagiaan tanpa syarat.

Ternyata semua rasa syukur itu tumbuh dari melatih kesadaran. Jujur saya sampai bodoh dan geli sendiri karena perasaan-perasaan ini terasa ‘aneh’, karena biasa kita bersyukur kalau dapat uang, dapat perkerjaan, dapat rejeki, tapi bukan dari bahwa kita masih bisa bernapas dengan lancar. Begitu bersyukurnya sampai saya merasa hidup itu indah hanya karena saya bisa menikmati diri saya yang sedang bernapas ini.

Ternyata itulah salah satu hasil yang saya dapat dari berlatih kesadaran. Saya rasa, jika kita sering melatih kesadaran, kita akan menemukan  damai  dibalik semua pikiran dan perasaan kita. Dengan melatih hidup berkesadaran, saya jadi bisa menikmati hidup sampai kepada hal-hal yang sangat sederhana seperti mensyukuri napas yang bisa saya lakukan dengan lancar. Saya bisa menyukuri nikmatnya duduk menutup mata menikmati kesunyian. Saya bisa menikmati indahnya matahari,hujan, dan udara disekitar saya. Saya bahkan bisa menikmati kesulitan dan tantangan kehidupan yang saya lalui. Saya menikmati perjuangan hidup yang dijalani. Bahkan akhirnya berbagai hal-hal yang rasanya menganggu, menyakitkan, berat, menantang dan sulitpun saya tetap  bisa  menemukan rasa syukur di dalamnya. Saya bisa menikmati keberadaan diri saya, tanpa syarat apa-apa. Luar biasa.

Hingga suatu saat saya berkesimpulan dan menulis pada status Facebook dan Twitter saya:
“Beneath our fear and confusion, there is a subtle existance, standing tall and firm, solid, free and grounded. It is above, below, beneath, in between and on the background. That is the God within us in which we find eternal peace.
I will meet you there.”

Written by : Maylaffayza ( 03 Desember 2010)